Rust
by PillowHead0497
Summary: Shizuo saves Izaya and their hateful relationship will never been the same again. I know, I know, this summary totally sucks...Its just going to be a sucky FanFic with lots of Shizaya fluffiness and smuttiness x Warning: It's rated M for a reason. Swearing, Abuse and BoysLove. Read at your own discretion...Thanks
1. Chapter 1

**Erm...First Fanfiction so I have no idea how to do one of these "Author's Note, Intro" thingy?!  
SORRY  
x  
This is my first FanFic and I really don't know where I'm going with it yet but its probably going to be fluffy-term-smutty *thumbs up* so yeah! I would really appreciate any feedback, but please play nice with me. I'm kinda peeing my pants.**

**Thank you  
x**

* * *

**Rust **

Nicotine filled my lungs, closing her caressing claws around me and soothing my body. I exhaled slowly, a pleasing puff of smoke floating towards the night's sky. I looked up, surprised I could pick out the stars as they were normally swallowed up by the bright city lights. I smiled. It was a small smile, but a smile none the less and it wasn't a crazed with rage smile either. I wouldn't exactly call it "happy" as happiness seemed to be a feeling of the past, but I supposed it was somewhat appreciative.

It had been a peaceful day and I had gone without throwing, punching nor breaking anything, or anyone for that matter. And for that I was thankful. I had the day off and had spent it curled up in my small apartment, reading one of my many books and trying out its many calming techniques. The anger management book had suggested a therapist but I decided that it would probably be better to do this alone, as me and people wasn't a good mix. But I was doing everything else the book said. Like at the moment I was walking home with a bag full of candles and bubble bath and more sweet-smelling stuff to try and cure me of my rage. Honestly, my apartment had turned a little girly since reading the books but I think all the colour and scented stuff had helped and it wasn't as it I had anyone coming over anyway, other than Tom of course, and he was being rather supportive about it.

I had decided that my home would be a place of organisation and relaxation. My apartment would be free of all chaos and that was that. And all this would stay top-secret so that a certain someone didn't come along and try to mess things up. I knew he was pretty much capable of anything so taking my home away from me would be a piece of cake for the pretty faced informant.

I stopped walking and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath "Shizuo," I said aloud, not caring if anyone saw me. Everyone knew me as a sign wielding maniac so I doubted it would be too odd to find me talking to myself… "Don't think about him. You will not let him dictate your life. You will not-"

"Argh! The fucker cut me!"

I snapped my eyes open. Around the next corner I could hear the rustle of people, moving around quickly and talking in low, and now angry voices. I wasn't shocked to hear a load crush that sounded like someone getting shoved into a dumpster. I was walking down a dark alleyway in the rougher and more deserted part of Ikebukuro, not to mention it was the middle of the night. It was safe to say I had expected to bump into some trouble. I rounded the corner to see exactly what the trouble was. It was a long and notably dark alleyway and at the far end I could make out a group of about six men. I narrowed my eyes as I assessed the situation. None had noticed me so I could simply walk away and let them get on with whatever they were doing.

However as I turned away I picked up on what one of them where saying. I froze, mid turn "I'm sick of waiting. I was gonna make this nice and quick but after the stunt you pulled," he laughed bitterly "I think we'll take are time with you. Get him out of those jeans."

"No!" I heard a small whimper followed by a loud smack, as someone got slap in the face.

"Oh you've done it now. You wait. When I'm inside you just know that this was your own damn fault, you dirty slut."

Now that right there…that shit was fucked up.

I whipped around and had one by the throat in three large strides. I tossed him over my shoulder as if he was as light as a piece of rubbish, sending him flying. The rest all span round on hearing their friend scream. Their eyes widened.

"It's…its Shizuo Heiwajima" one of the gasped, causing me to wrinkle my nose in pure disgust. I felt kind of icky knowing that someone like him recognised me.

"This is the guy?" one gasped.

"Hey man," said the apparent leader, holding up his hands as if in defeat "look, if you want we can share him with you. I mean, you can go first and everything."

I snapped, flicking my cigarette to the side "Oh fuck no!"

I picked up the huge wheelie bin and flung it as the man, not caring if it killed him. I ignored the screams of the other three men as they dropped their victim and sprinted from the scene, leaving their leader potentially for dead. The situation was resolved pretty quickly actually.

Well, almost resolved. I glanced down at the slender man who was now hunched in the corner, his face towards the grimy brick wall. He was shaking and I could hear his muffled sobs.

"Erm," I blushed, shuffling forward "they're gone now. If you want I can walk you to, I don't know, the police station or I could call someone or…"

I didn't finish. Something shiny had caught the corner of my eyes. I crouched down to inspect the bloodied switch blade. Had his attackers stabbed him? Should I take him to the hospital? I didn't really want him to die on me. Somehow the blade seemed familiar. There was an item of clothing next to the weapon. I scooped it up with one finger, not keen to touch it too much. I held it up to the light.

My stomach dropped. There was no mistaking this fur rimmed jacket.

I shot round to look at the man; his fingers tangled in his own dark hair, trying to control his breathing, trying to hide his face, trying to hide his fear…I grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn around. His copper eyes sparkled as terrified tears gushed down his cheeks, his lips trembling as he tried, and failed, to fight back his emotions. He was scared and at his most vulnerable and now came face to face with his greatest enemy. There was something so very wrong about this image. The psychotic flea looked so human and for some reason it broke my heart to see him so weak. I couldn't hurt him, I couldn't even hate him while he was in such a state. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Not even this protozoan of a man.

"Izaya?" I could barely whisper, unsure what I should do.

To my absolute horror he launched himself into my arms, his arms latching around me and he cried even harder. It was strange to feel his body loosen at my touch as if he trust me of all people, not to hurt him.

I shifted my weight uncomfortably but awkwardly wrapped my arms around my waist, to support his quivering body. "'ey…druu…drug…" his voice was slurred "dunt lea me."

I felt him go limp in my arms.

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**A little short but it's only chapter one *shrug* Thanks to anyone who's still here...I'll probably write a little more even if it is kind of sucky?**

**Bye-Bye  
x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Soooo here's chapter two...Urgh! I think writing AN is just something I'm never gonna get used to. Sorry folks, they're aways ging to be clumsy and awkward like yours truly  
*sigh*  
I'm going to pretend it come across as cute and doesn't make me look insane  
*thumbs up*  
x  
I would like to give a big thank you to Naturesshadows. First comment YAY! Your comment was so nice and I was so nervous and it encouraged me to continue so thank you so so so much!  
(Also sorry if this is weird and creepy, but I figured a private message might have been weirder and creepier?...I don't know, sorry)**

* * *

It had been a little embarrassing carrying the unconscious flea bridal style to my apartment. I would have taken him straight to Shinra if it had been anyone else but I knew the arrogant man wouldn't be too happy about it. I wouldn't feel comfortable humiliating the flea until he was up and back to being a fulltime troll.

I got to my flat, supporting him with one arm as I unlocked the door. It wasn't difficult, Izaya had quite a slender frame, although he wasn't at all bony. I didn't bother flicking on any lights as I lay him down on my couch. I sat on in the armchair, whipping out my phone to quickly google how to care for someone who's been roofed.

…

I frowned at the results. I probably should take him to Shinra's place to make sure he's okay. I put down my phone, sparing a glance at Izaya. I flinched when I came face to face with bright eyes, his irises glowing red in the moon light that seeped through the window.

"Don't take me Shinra" at least he was communicating better.

"How are you feeling? What do you need?" I asked, standing up.

"I don't want Shizu-chan to leave" he sighed.

My eyebrow twitched "dammit flea, even drugged you're annoying as hell."

"I think I need to be sick" he groaned, trying to move. He let out a small whimper as his body failed him.

I growled, scooping him up and hauling him into the bathroom "Don't you dare throw up on anything other than the toilet."

I cringed as he violently threw up into the toilet bowl, tears rolling down his cheeks again "this is so gross" he spluttered before gagging again.

"Tell me about it" I winced, looking away "although it's probably good to get it out of your system, right? I'm glad you're conscious again."

After he was done I lifted him up onto the counter next to the sink and poured him some mouth wash as I wetted a wash cloth for him to clean up with. His movements were slow and a little shaking but he managed to get most of it in his mouth.

"Clean your face," I directed "while I go and get you some water."

I was back in mere moments. I blushed when I found Izaya where I had left him, only fiddling with the front of his jeans. His sloppy fingers were struggling to undo his zipper.

"What are you doing?" I asked nervously, diverting my gaze.

He looked up, biting his lip, a light blush across his cheeks "I feel so hot. I feel funny. It hurts. Please help."

I groaned, my eyes landing on the bulge in his jeans "what kind of drug is this?!"

"Please Shizuo, it's really- argh!- uncomfortable" he gasped, his breathing heavy.

"Fine, I'll help but if you ever mention this to anyone-"

"No, Shizu-chan, I promise. Just hurry, okay?" he whimpered, squirming and continuing to mess with his jeans. I had never noticed how snug those dark jeans actually were. How the hell he was able to move around in them so smoothly during our fights was a total mystery.

I held my breath as I pushed him back against the wall so my hands would haven't better access to his- err- area. Izaya letting out a heated groan when I touched him didn't really help the situation.

"Can you not?" I hissed, glaring at him.

"I'm sorry," he panted "I can't help it. I'm usually really sensitive anyway but this drug…I'm on fire!"

I gritted my teeth and tried to fight back the blush that was crawling up my neck. I gave a small nod before returning to my job "Do I just undo the front or…?"

"Take them off" he demanded.

I nodded again, before slowly loosening the zipper and sliding a hand under his waist. I lifted him with one arm and tugged down the jeans with the other. I placed him back down and yanked them down his long, pale legs in one clean swoop. I tried to avoid looking at his tented boxers "Better?"

"A little" he said, clenching his fists "this is so embarrassing!"

I shrugged "Just sleep it off. You'll be fine in the morning."

I lifted him again, Izaya moaning as his crotch accidently rubbed against my stomach. We both silently agreed not to comment on it and we made our way back to the living room without a word. I placed him back onto the couch, putting the bottle of water on the coffee table. I had been nice enough to stick in a straw.

"Will you be okay?"

He nodded.

"There's a blanket there if you want it. I'm just down the hall and I'll leave the doors open so I can hear you…Good night."

And with that lame little speech, I turned on my heel and marched to my room. Hearing a faint "Good night, Sizu-chan" as I went.

I pulled my shirt over my head, dumping it on the floor before unbuckling my belt. I flopped onto my bed, my feet hanging off the end. I covered my face with a pillow and groaned.

I woke up to the sound of giggling. I glanced at my clock before going to investigate. The plan was to get the brat out of my house as soon as possible. He'd be gone and things would be back to normal.

I peered into the living and narrowed my eyes.

Izaya was on the floor laughing as he played with my stumpy munchkin cat. They kind of matched with their dark hair and the friendly kitten had definitely taken to him.

"What are you doing?" I growled, not trusting the flea with him.

"What's wrong with your cat?" he laughed at the way the cat ran "its legs are so short!"

"He's a munchkin cat" I said, sitting on the sofa.

"The way he runs is so funny!" I didn't find Izaya's laugh as slimy as I normally did and it didn't send shivers of dread down my spine. This laugh was free of spite and was actually quite endearing…huh?

I couldn't really help but smile at his teeny tiny legs "his names Pumpkin…I didn't name him."

Izaya laughed even harder "Pumpkin!"

"Do you like cats?" I asked.

"Love them. Why on earth did you call him Pumpkin?"

"The little girl next door named him. He was a stray the used to just hang about outside so I took him in. Happened to be on halloween" I shrugged "I have two now."

"Where's your other one?"

I sighed before sliding onto the floor to look under the couch. As I suspected, an unimpressed amber eye glared back at me. I ignored the grumpy look and fished him out. "This is Pirate."

"Whoa he's huge" Izaya came over to pet my giant Maine coon, running his fingers through his chocolate fur. "Pirate is a fitting name" he said, taking note of Pirate's missing eye.

"Hmph" I nodded.

Me and Izaya paused and slowly turn to meet each other's gaze. It would seem the same thought had hit us at the same time and we were equally unnerved by it. We were having quite a normal conversation.

"This is too weird" I massaged my forehead.

"Yeah" Izaya nodded, sliding away from me and Pirate.

"Look Izaya," I said "about last night…"

I felt Izaya shiver "I don't want to think about it. Let's forget last night happened, okay?"

I studied his expression for a brief moment. He looked scared again and on the verge of more tears. I didn't blame him. It must have been a truly terrifying experience that no one should have to go through- not even the flea. I pitied him.

"You can shower and stuff before you go" I said "Today doesn't count, okay? We'll go back to how we were tomorrow, but for now I won't try and kill you. I'll even lend you some clean stuff to wear, although it'll probably be too big."

Izaya bit his lip and nodded.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

I looked up to see Izaya finally coming out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a lime coloured towel. He had been in there for several hours, trying to cleanse himself of last night I suppose.

"No" I muttered "I don't date."

"What's with all the candles and bubble baths then? You actually have a lot of cutesy, colourful stuff here. And I would have never have guessed you to be into cats."

I didn't say anything and pretend to go back to reading. I didn't like him in my house. I just knew he was analysing everything, searching for new things to harass me with.

"Why don't you date?"

"That's a dumb question. Aren't you supposed to be like, crazy smart or something? It's your job to know this crap. You already know why."

"Yes, but I wanted to hear it from you" he sighed, sitting next to me.

I just shot daggers at him and waited.

"You don't want to hurt anyone."

"Yeah, yet you insist on making that awfully difficult for me" I snapped "now stop talking, you're pissing me off."

"Of course I'm pissing you off. Everything pisses you off."

"Izaya, in return for saving your arse last night-" Izaya flinched at the phrase "would you please not try and fuck things up for me? Not here." I finished, picking up my glass of milk.

"Fine but just because you saved me, it doesn't mean-"

"How did you even manage to get yourself in that situation? Again, you're supposed to be able to read people" I grumbled.

"I was bored and decided to go people watching in a bar. Humans make the best entertainment and I was having fun until some guy came over and started chatting me up. Two people got into a fight and distracted me for a moment so I guess that's when he drugged me" Izaya brought his knees up to his chest "Everything's a little hazy after that…He…"

"Izaya, how far…"

"Just his hands" Izaya whispered.

…

"Erm, Shizuo?"

"Yeah?"

"You're bleeding."

"Huh?"

Izaya nodded to the broken shards of glass in my bloody hand. I blushed. I hadn't felt a thing.

Izaya chuckled "don't look so embarrassed, Shizuo-chan. I'm kind of over your super strength already. Where's your first aid kit?"

"Erm, in the bathroom."

Izaya attentively fixed up my hand, carefully picking out any pieces of glass and mopping up the blood. "So seriously, what's with all the fluffiness in your apartment?"

"I'm not getting personal with you" I warned.

"Too late. Today doesn't count, remember? Now come on, tell me" he gave what I guess was a sweet smile but I felt 'sweet' wasn't a word I'd ever use to describe the informant.

I let out a huff of defeat "If you must know, I'm in a process of self-improvement right now. I figured colour would, I don't know, cheer me up."

I glanced down at him and was surprised to find a warm and understanding look on his face "Is it working?"

"I think so."

He wrapped a bandage around the big slash in my hand and even placed a small kiss over it "all better."

"You didn't have to kiss it" I mumbled.

Izaya chuckled and leaned in very close, so he was mere centimetres away from my ear "Thank you, Shizuo."

He placed a small, feather light kiss on my cheek before getting up and walking out the front door.

My face flushed red as the spot he had kissed me tingled.

"What the fuck?!"

* * *

**I guess this was kind of filler and I guess I've changed their "true" character quite a bit, but I don't know, wanted to show a softer side maybe? I'm a sucker for fluffiness  
XXX**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hoi!**

**I've been gone for so long, but I'm back with another chapter. Feedback is seriously appreciated! Thanks for reading**

**xxx**

* * *

How long had it been? One, two, three, four….yeah, four weeks and five days. Four weeks and five days since I had seem Izaya. And apparently I had been the last person to see him too.

My phone had rung earlier this morning. I had ignored it, deeming it too early to deal with any bullshit but after my phone continued to ring and ring and ring I finally picked up.

"What?" I barked down the phone.

"Shizuo, have you seen Izaya?"

"Why would I have seen him?" I sighed, rubbing my eyes and sitting up in bed.

"Well, you're always saying how you would kill him one day, I was just wondering if you had done it yet. He's been missing for weeks, see? And I've been calling him but he won't pick up. At first I thought he was just ignoring me but Celty did some snooting around and no one's seen him in ages. Namie says that he text her several weeks ago telling her that she wouldn't be needed for a while and that's the last we've heard. That kid Kida said-"

"Shinra, slow down would you. You always talk so much."

"Hey! That's so super mean! How can you say that? I'm worried about him" Shinra whined.

"Well I haven't seen him in over a month. I doubt he would leave Tokyo. He's probably on holiday" I shrugged "and if he is dead, good riddance."

"How can you-"

I hung up and chucked my phone onto my bedside table. Pumpkin hopped up onto the bed and curled up on my chest. I scratched the tiny cat's ears and tried to ignore the uneasy feeling that was forming in the pit of my stomach.

Izaya had been through a pretty traumatising ordeal and it was clear that something had been horribly wrong when he had left, which was understandable of course. However, I couldn't imagine Izaya would really know how to cope with such a thing. In his mind he was the all-knowing God of chaos. He had thought he was above normal human emotion and yet, that night had honestly terrified him. Someone had gotten to the great and mighty Izaya Orihara and had not only violated his body but had clearly fucked with his mind and soul. How would he handle learning he could be as vulnerable as the rest of us?

I look down at Pumpkin, his dark hair and rust coloured eyes reminding me of Izaya and for some reason I needed to know if he was okay.

I gently knocked him off of my chest and smiled fondly when he batted his tiny paws at my giant hand. I gave his tummy a quick scratch before getting up to get dressed. I decided not to wear my usual bartender get up, pulling on a pair of light blue jeans and a comfy baseball shirt with teal sleeves. I then went to brush my teeth, frowning when my eyes landed on my reflection. I ran my fingers through my hair, lifting my bangs to glare at the chocolate coloured roots. I was in serious need of a touch up.

I rolled up the ends of my jeans and slipped on white canvas shoes before leaving my apartment. I knew Izaya's apartment was a twenty minute walk from Shinjuku station so I figured I would be there in less than an hour. Normally I would have asked Celty for a ride but I figured it would lead to several questions that I didn't really know how to answer yet. Questions like "why do you care?"

The walk was uneventful. Less people recognised me when I wasn't dressed as a bartender. Although that isn't to say less people noticed me. I tried and failed to ignore the giggles of what seemed like half the girls I passed. I didn't like people whispering about me.

On the train I sat opposite a small group of young girls who couldn't be long out of high school. Two dark haired girls appeared to be sisters and the blonde was obviously in charge. They also whispered and giggled amongst themselves for a while before one of them got up the courage to talk "My friend thinks you're cute" the blonde pointed to another girl.

"Midori!" the smallest brunette squeaked, turning red. She was cute but was obviously way too young. She could barely pass for fifteen. "Hanako, tell her" she looked to her sister for help.

"Oh Cho, don't be so sensitive" Midori laughed before turning back to me "so? Can she give you her number?"

"I'm not into girls" I growled. Teenage girls were so annoying.

"Oh…you were right, Hanako. He's way too cute to be straight" Midori said.

Hanako just shrugged.

"Excuse me?!" I choked on air. I had meant it when I said I wasn't into girls but I definitely wasn't into guys either. I just wasn't into people like that. I wouldn't even allow myself to think about things in that kind of way. The conversation had come up with Tom once and I had explained that I wasn't attracted to anyone. Everyone annoyed me, almost to the point of repulsion and there was no way I could stomach getting intimate with them. And if I did find someone that I actually liked I wouldn't risk hurting them by having sex with them. So after a quick google search we decided I was demisexual.

I was relieved to escape, as it was becoming harder and harder not to kill that Midori girl. I quickly got off the train and almost ran from the station, heading for Izaya's apartment complex. It was a little weird that I knew his address but it really had been by accident. Shinra had been going on about it to Celty and it just kind of sunk in. It was proving useful but still.

"Hey, do you know what floor Izaya Orihara lives at?" I asked the doorman.

"Are you a friend of Mr Orihara?"

"…Sure."

He narrowed his eyes "Sir, you will need to sign in at the front desk."

"You still haven't answered my question" I used my most dangerous voice. This guy had no idea who he was dealing with.

He took a small step back "Top floor."

I stepped around him without saying thanks. He _had_ kept me waiting after all. I also ignored the front desk, heading straight for the elevator and slamming my finger repeatedly on the 'up' button. As I waited for the lift I glanced around the lobby. This place was definitely fancier than his last residence. I wondered how much he was paying…

The lift arrived and I was not happy to see one of those suited men than stood in the lift. I had no idea what the official name was and what they were actually there to do, all I knew was that they were annoying and awkward and that I hated them. I shot the chubby man a dirty look as I entered.

"What floor, sir?"

I ignored him and jabbed the button myself. Is that all they did? How lazy were people these days?

"A friend of Mr Orihara?"

I started grinding my teeth "Yes."

"Wow you're tall! I've never seen hair like yours before!"

'_Don't hit him. Don't hit him. Don't hit him. Don't- …Dammit Shizuo, you hit him_' I thought. We reached my floor and I stepped over the lump of a man who now lay in a bundle on the floor.

Apartment 32A. I knocked. No answer. I knocked again. Still no answer. I kicked down the door.

Izaya stood of the far side of the room; his eyes wide, knife in his trembling hands. He looked a total mess with puffy, sleep deprived eyes and wild hair. His knees were shaking and he had definitely lost a little weight. He was a mess. A total contrast to the well-kept, arrogant flea who had been fearlessly harassing me only a month and a few weeks ago. Something was very wrong.

"Shizuo" he squeaked, remaining in the corner but lowering his blade.

"Izaya?"

"You…I wasn't expecting…" he trailed off, glancing nervously to the broken door.

"I'll fix it, hang on" I went back and pushed the door back into place. I also kicked of my shoes while I was there. "Where the hell have you been? Shinra has been freaking out. I told him you were fine, but obviously you're not. Izaya, have you spoken to anyone about what happened? You were almost-"

"I'm fine. What do you care?" he snapped.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead "I really don't know, but after seeing you like that I'm finding it hard to hate you right now. I think we should tell Shinra, he'll know how to help."

Izaya looked away "Shizuo, you don't seem to understand how humiliating this all is. I'm embarrassed, I'm scared, I'm confused and the water isn't hot enough to wash away this shame. I'm dirty." I watched as he tossed the knife and plopped down on the couch, pulling his knees to his chest. He rubbed his eyes "I can't sleep. I've never been so on edge."

I took a deep breath, not believing what I was about to say "Look, how about I stay for a while?"

Izaya looked blank.

"You can sleep for a bit. I'll…I'll protect you" I blushed.

There was a long and semi-awkward pause before he spoke "Why would you do that?"

"Like I said," I mumbled, shuffling my feet "I can't hate you right now."

Izaya groaned and covered his face with his hands "This is so fucking insane! I can tell you aren't lying either."

…

"Fine," he threw his hands up in defeat "you can stay. Make yourself comfy I guess."

"Thanks" I sat next to him.

"You can watch TV or whatever…you'll wake me up before you go, right? I don't want to wake up alone" he confessed, blushing.

I sighed and pulled him down so his head was resting on my lap "I'm not going anywhere." I stared into those rust coloured eyes, trying to convey how serious I was. They gazed back up at me…had they always been so big and sparkly? He looked totally confused…It was a kind of cute actually…wait. What?!

I turned away but began to rake my fingers through his dark hair. I felt him relax a little more with each stroke. It was a tad surprising to find that the flea liked to be petted but I said nothing and continued the motion even when he had fallen asleep.

* * *

I woke up with a slight pang of panic. It took me a while to remember where I was and who I was with. Falling asleep in my enemy's presence didn't seem like the brightest of ideas but a quick glance down confirmed my safety. The white light from the static on the TV lit up Izaya's sleeping face. He looked really peaceful. His eyes moved under his eyelids as he dreamt, but the small upturn in the corners of his mouth told me it wasn't a nightmare.

I found my hand, gently caressing the side of his face with more grace than I thought I could manage. I don't know what was different by he looked incredibly beautiful tonight, with long lashes fluttering against his porcelain cheeks. My gaze landed on pretty pink lips, which were slightly parted. I found myself staring and for some alien reason, I wanted to know what they tasted like. I bet it tasted sweet.

Izaya made a soft moaning noise and shifted his weight a bit. His eyes slowly fluttered open and he looked up at me with sleepy eyes. He softly giggled "You stayed."

"I said I would" I said, leaning back a bit, realising my face was closer to his than it should have been.

"I'm glad. It's weird but I feel safe with you…maybe there are monsters out there that are worse than you" he sighed, nuzzling into me and closing his eyes.

He was clearly still half asleep so I didn't take it too personally and judging by the gentle way he had said it, he had meant it as a compliment "Thanks."

"Can you brush my hair again, Shizu-chan?" he yawned.

I chuckled. That had been kind of sweet. "Sure" I tangled my fingers into his hair and began the soothing motion again "are you going back to sleep?"

"Nuh uh. This feels nice, I want to enjoy it" he reopened his copper eyes, to meet my chocolate ones. He grinned.

I stuck my finger in his ear causing him to squeal and squirm "don't be a brat."

He giggled again "but you think this feels nice too, don't you?"

I coughed "Well I suppose it does, yeah."

He smiled contently, glad I had confessed "Just for tonight."

"Just for tonight" I repeated.

"I like your outfit by the way" Izaya changed the subject, tugging at my teal and white baseball tee.

"Thanks. I wish I could say that to you too but those sweatpants are really not your thing."

Izaya laughed and lifted his hips, and wriggling out of them. He was left in nothing but dark boxers that hung from his slender hips and a grey shirt that was several sizes too big. I looked back and forth between the shorts and the shirt and realised both belonged to me.

He laughed even harder "Don't look so scandalised, they're comfy."

I hated to admit it but there was something incredibly sexy about how he looked in my clothing. The shorts rode up and revealed his milky thighs and the t-shirt had slipped down his arm, shoving off a pale shoulder. It was pretty hot.

I shifted my weight, feeling a blush spreading over my cheeks. I don't know where all these thoughts were coming from. To come here to check up on him was one thing but to want to kiss him…that crossed some line. Hadn't I just decided I was demisexual? That meant sexual feelings only developed after strong, romantic bonds were formed and there was definitely none of that between me and him. But I suppose saving someone from rape would probably have an effect on any relationship.

"Shizuo?"

"Huh?"

"You sort of spaced out for a second there. Are you okay?" he sounded genuinely concerned.

"I'm good. Although, I kind of need to pee and stretch my legs a bit. Do you mind?"

He sat up "Bathroom's through there" he pointed.

"Thanks."

I fought the urge to take a peek in Izaya's bathroom cupboards even though I was kind of curious to know, even if the knowledge wouldn't serve much of a purpose. It was just fun. Me and Shinra started doing it as teenagers and always got a laugh out of it.

I did look at the bathroom products he was using and found that they were all girly brands, many of them coconut scented.

I splashed some water in my face before leaving hoping that it would somehow clear me of these strange, fluffy thoughts. Just for tonight. After that we would hate each other again.

I found Izaya exactly where I had left him "It's getting late. Do you want me to-"

"Stay."

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. So I just nodded.

He crawled onto my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck "Shizu-chan is surprisingly comfy."

I hooked my arm around his waist and held him close "I'll saty, but I should call Shinra and tell him you're okay."

Izaya snorted "I don't get him, we're not even that close."

I shrugged "he's annoying but I kind of love him."

Izaya cocked his head but said nothing. He watched as I pulled out my mobile and called the underground surgeon.

"Shizuo! What's up?"

I rolled my eyes at his oh so perky tone "I just thought I'd let you know that the flea is fine." Izaya pinched my cheek as a warning. I silently chuckled and gave him a light jab in the ribs. He gasped.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"…how do you know he's fine?" Shinra asked.

"I bumped into him in Shinjuku. He got away pretty quickly and said he didn't have the time to fight or something. I chased him for a bit but I had other stuff going on."

"What were you doing in Shinjuku?"

"Meeting someone. I have other friends, you know" I snapped.

"Oh? Is it a girl? I bet it is! Who is she?" Shinra practically squealed down the phone.

"No it's not a girl."

"Aw Baby, come back to bed. Who you talking to? Not another girl I hope" Izaya said in an unbelievably realistic female voice. I glared.

"Argh!" Shinra gasped "I knew it! Hey Celty, Shizuo has a girlfriend. I told you he wasn't gay…Huh? Yes you did! You totally said so the other day…"

"Why does everyone think I'm gay?!" I groaned.

"I didn't think so…Celty says I was the only one. After Erika mentioned you and Izaya being an item it just got everyone thinking. Everyone agrees that you with Izaya was absurd but as for you being a homosexual? Well people seemed to think that was feasible. It wasn't just you, Izaya too."

"Well thanks for that guys" I snorted "I can't imagine Izaya's gay…" I drifted off, noticing the look Izaya was giving me. "Anyway, I've got to go. Talk to you later."

"Wait! I have questions about-"

I hung up on him.

"I heard that you weren't attracted to anyone. That you were above it" I said, finding this way more interesting than I should have.

"I'm above mindlessly fucking" he exhaled impatiently "Is it so terrible that I want something more than that?"

"What do you mean?"

Izaya pouted "Everyone seems to think I'm some mega slut who's whoring myself out for information. Well, I'm not. I know I'm not exactly easy and decided a long time ago that if someone did somehow fall in love with me I would want to give them everything."

"You're a virgin?"

"Yes, so what?"

"I, well, nothing. Me too."

…

"Shut up are you!" he poked me. Hard.

I smacked his hand away "I am. People annoy the crap out of me for the most part and I don't really want to hurt the ones that don't."

"But you're so…" he shook his head "I doubt you'd hurt someone."

"Bullshit. I don't exactly do gentle, do I?" I spat bitterly.

He shrugged "I hear some people like it rough. Look for a really kinky girl."

I laughed and repositioned myself so I was able to fall back, Izaya still on my chest. He looked at me with big shiny eyes and reminded me of Pumpkin from earlier this morning.

Izaya tilted his head "you're good looking when you smile. You should do it more."

"You're half the reason I don't smile."

"Ouch, Shizuo! And here we were having a moment and you go and ruin it by saying something as cruel as that" he whined.

"Ah, so we were having a moment, were we?" I teased.

He placed a small butterfly kiss on my nose "I don't know. Maybe."

* * *

**Soooo Yeah! Again, thanks so so much for reading! Urgh, I haven't watched Durarara in forever! Is it true they're doing a second season? That would be amazing! xxx**

**Until next time, my fine friends of fury!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I am soooo crazy sorry for the long weight. College gets crazy and I get stuck in zombie mode. But its over now so I'm around until, like, September so I have no excuse to not write and upload.**

**I would just like to thank all those who commented. I love reading them and they mean so, so much. I will respond to them at some point. PROMISE!**

**Enjoy Reading**

**xxx**

* * *

Next morning was…odd? The weirdness of last night had again, hit us at the same time. It had been easy and natural and at some points, even a little flirty and as nice as it had been in the moment, it was terrifying to think about it now. I could feel Izaya analysing every little moment probably looking for a plausible excuse.

"Erm, I think I'm going to do what you said. I mean, not Shinra but I will talk to someone…" he slid to the far end of the couch.

"Yeah, that's great" I coughed, looking away "It'll get things back to normal."

"Right" he nodded firmly.

"Right" I sighed, not sounding as sure.

…

"So, I'll see you around?" I said, standing up and sounding uncharacteristically cheery "I mean, when you next come to fuck with my shit."

"Yup, totally" he stood up too.

…

"Bye."

"Bye."

And that had been it. I had gone home and it was as if it had never happened. The only reason I was sure it hadn't been a dream was the way Shinra kept hassling me.

"Tell me about your secret girlfriend!" he demanded "What does she look like? How did you meet? What's her name? How long have you been seeing her? When can I meet her?"

I shot him a death glare, making him leap back and hunch his shoulders "Shinra, I am not seeing anyone. I was seeing and old friend and she thought it would be funny. This is the last time I'm going to tell you. Now shut up and learn how to walk and talk, would you? You're making us late."

Shinra had to jog to keep up with my long strides and was panting by the time we reached Russia Sushi. He was so out of shape.

Kadota was out front with Simon and his gang. Over the last couple months I had been putting more of an effort in with people and found it was kind of nice to have friends. Erika had suggested that we start hanging out every Saturday night and do something fun. And that's what it was: Fun.

Tonight we decided to just go out and eat but last week we had ended up in a karaoke bar with the three high school kids. After a small confrontation with the Kida kid about my shooting the previous year, I decided that I was able to tolerate them. I even liked Mikado, he was cute. Yeah, I called him cute, so what? And we had invited them to come hang out with us again, tonight.

"Hey, there's two of them" Walker nodded at us.

Erika whipped around and smiled brightly, realising it was me. The girl freaked me out. She had somehow gotten it in her head that I was gay and for whatever scary reason, that made her extremely fond of me. She was actually climbing her way up the list of people I found scary, and that was a pretty short list indeed.

"Hi everyone" Shinra greeted cheerfully, waving like a dork.

"Where's Celty?" Kadota asked.

"She'll be joining us a little later. She told me to go on ahead… wonder why?" Shinra shook away his curious frown, replacing it with a giant grin "girl stuff!"

"Hi Shizuo, how's things?" Erika beamed.

"I'm-"

"Pretty damn good apparently!" Shinra butted in.

I snapped him a stern look. "Shinra…" I growled a warning.

Shinra didn't get the point at all and continued to chant "Shizuo has a girlfriend~"

"A girlfriend? Good. It'll do you good to have a female. It'll relax you a little, eh?" Tom joined us, wriggling his eyebrows "even you need to let lose once in a while."

"He seemed to have let lose all over the city already" Kadota's eyes fell onto a crushed letterbox, which had innocently fallen into my path during a recent tantrum.

"…ew" Saburo muttered.

Erika and Walker burst into hysterics, while Kadota flapped his arms at his driver "Not like that!"

Tom rolled his eyes "Let's get some drinks in while we wait for the others."

I ended up sitting between Tom and Erika. Erika was sitting a little closer than necessary and I slid up to Tom to get away.

"Hey, what's up with this?" he hissed.

I kept quiet and used the menu to hide. I read the menu while the others chatted around me. They were used to me being rather quiet at these things and no one had thought to ask why. Or maybe they had and were too scared to ask? I didn't really like that thought…

I ignored all the weird fish combos and went straight to the dessert menu. I loved sweet things. I liked little cakes with pretty decoration. Especially if it was pink. Everything pink tastes good… except raw fish.

"Shizuo," Simon called "what you drinking?"

Why did I find ordering food in front of people so embarrassing? It's not like anyone would care but my childish tastes rarely fitted my hard personality and it did raise eyebrows.

"Just a coke" I said. Coke was okay, right? Everyone drinks it. Normal.

"You don't want a beer, man?" Walker asked.

"God no." Gross. So gross.

"Perhaps a cocktail" Erika suggested. It was a better suggestion but being a bartender, I was pretty picky about quality. Also, she was stereotyping and making assumptions, which I didn't approve of.

"Just a coke, please" I repeated.

As Simon walked away to collect drinks, he waved to the three teens who stumbled through the door "sorry we're late!"

"Make space," Kadota said "Erika shift."

Erika pouted as she slid over to make room for the kids. Miasomi made sure to sit between Anri and Mikado, the latter squashing up against me.

"Ah, I'm sorry, so sorry" he stammered; blushing as he pushed back against Kida, trying to give me space.

"It's okay," I said quietly. I smiled down at him. He blinked his wide, sparkly eyes and returned the smile.

"Thank you," he said softly "Sh-Shizuo."

I nodded.

I really was beginning to like Mikado. On a bad day I would undoubtedly find his timid personality frustrating but I enjoyed our quiet exchanges. He didn't force me to talk and seemed happy to sit in silence. He would occasionally glance at me to see if I was okay and I think he was starting to realise I could be just as shy as him. He saw what I was and that was comforting.

"Mikado, stop smiling at Shizuo like that" Miasomi pinched his friends cheek "you're making me jealous."

I was not so sure about Kida. He was loud and flashy. I mean, I was also loud and flashy with my bleached hair but this was way different. He was such a cool kid and it was annoying. He was constantly teasing and harassing his closest friend and I didn't get why Mikado put up with it.

I hadn't even bothered with Anri. She was just cold.

Celty finally arrived and as if Shinra had been waiting for everyone to present, he yet again brought up my non-existent girlfriend.

"Just give in and tell us!" he wailed.

"Yeah, what's she like?" Tom asked.

"I was seeing an old friend and she made a bad joke. There's no0thing like that between us" I grumbled.

"Why were you over there then?" Shinra pressed "it was late and it was just you two alone."

"Guys and girls can be friends without it being anything" Kida pointed out.

"But… but…"

"So what did you are this friend get up to?" Tom grinned. He knew I wasn't being completely honest but was zooming in on the wrong thing.

"We were just hanging out" I said a little too slowly.

"More like making out" Shinra giggled.

Celty smacked him [Leave him alone. He doesn't have to tell you anything.]

"She was having a hard time. She wanted… she didn't want to be alone. I happened to stop by and I offered to look out for her" I blushed "I mean, I did hold her I guess… but just a little and there was nothing funny about it. We're not even that close. In fact, I don't like them at all. They just fuck up my shit and make me mad and-"

Mikado's hand had slid over mine over the table. They were tiny compared to mine and a little cold but I appreciated the warmth of the gesture. I took several gulping breaths and relaxed my muscles. I stared at my lap to avoid the stares.

I was surprised to feel Mikado kick Kida under the table. Kida instantly burst into animated conversation and steered everyone's attention away from me.

I blinked at the pair and silently thanked them for saving me.

The evening was as pleasant as always and I managed to keep my temper down. The conversation was good and the food was… suspect, but still didn't spoil an enjoyable evening. I was as involved as the other members of the group but it was just nice being with company.

We were leaving the bar around ten. Simon was showing us out when I saw him tense and shoot an expectant look at me.

"Be cool" Tom said in a rather pleading tone, a desperate look on his tanned face.

I leaned around him and frowned. Izaya was leaning against the wall across the street, copper eyes locked onto the doorway, in which we stood. He cocked his head to the side and smirked, raising a hand in greeting. He had obviously pulled himself together; his hair combed and his skin bright. He was out of his sweats and back in his skin tight jeans. He had also had his signature coat dry cleaned and its fur trim looked fluffier than it had done before. Izaya was back.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Why have you…Oh! Izaya's back!" Shinra fluttered around my frozen frame and headed towards the informant.

Said flea pushed himself off the wall and met Shinra in the middle "Shinra, how's things?" his usual tone of voice was back too. A silky tone that let everyone know that he was several steps a head of the situation and knew something you didn't.

It made me shiver. I could feel rage bubbling within me._ Just for tonight. _He had stayed true to his words.

"Where have you been?! You could have been dead. Doing what you do, you could easily get killed" Shinra said.

"That isn't nice, Shinra" Izaya sighed, not looking at him. Instead his gaze was focused on me "Wha'up, Shizu-chan?" he grinned.

Everyone looked at me, taking large steps back and bracing themselves for what they thought would be the inevitable. I turned back to Izaya, taking a few steps closer and leaning forward to stare into his rust coloured orbs, getting my face up in his. He kept his grin plastered on his neat face but I saw something flicker in his eyes. The confidence was fake. His eyes, although steady had an unsure softness to them and what seemed to be a fearful undertone.

I folded my arms and shook my head "No, I can tell you're faking and I still can't do it. You should probably get out of here. When you've spoken to someone, come back."  
I felt everyone's confused stares but most seemed impressed I hadn't charged yet "Shizuo?"

Shinra was interrupted by Izaya shoving him out of the way "That's not fair. I'm not faking shit."

"It's nothing to get pissy about" I smirked, raising a brow at how flustered he looked "you're so sensitive."

"Me?!"

I chuckled "But really, you should get out of here. Trauma."

"I am not traumatised. I'm fine, dammit. You said…" he trailed off.

"I meant, when you're back to being a trolling bastard. No way am I fighting you while you're in this state" I shrugged.

"What if I'm not the same? That's the end, is it?"

"I guess so."

"Well that's a little anti-climactic, don't you think? This," he indicated to the both of us "was supposed to be interesting. It _was_ interesting."

"Too bad. I'm done… see you."

I turned to leave but Izaya grabbed my am "You went and ruined the moment again."

I couldn't help but smile at the softness in his voice "Ah, so we were having a moment, were we?"

"I don't know. Maybe" he said "but I got all the way out here just to see you. If we're not going to mess with each other, can we at least…I don't know."

"What's happening?!" Shinra butted in between us.

"Something happened two months ago and it was kind of…" I couldn't think of the words.

"Kind of a defining moment between us and it has altered the dynamics of our relationship…a little."

"A lot" I corrected "I really can't hate you."

"Huh?!" everyone said at once "what the hell happened?!"

"Some really fucked up shit" I growled, clenching my fists.

"So what now?" Shinra asked.

…

"Whatever, I don't care" I waved a hand dismissively.

"I guess I'll…" Izaya slowly began to retreating but I grabbed his wrist and yanked him to my side "Ouch! Sizuo-chan, so rough" he pouted.

"You're not going anywhere. It's late and you're alone."

"I can look after myself" he snapped, offended.

"You did an awesome job of that last time" I snorted.

"It's not my fault it happened."

I frowned and tugged him closer so I could get a better look at him "I know. I didn't mean it like that. I still don't think you should be alone."

"No one wants me here. I've messed with almost all of them…" he looked at them "all of them."

"We'll just hang out then. Just for tonight."

"Just for tonight. One last time."

"W-wait! Where are you going?" Shinra called after us.

"Thanks for this evening" I waved lazily.

The group was silent as they watched the pair walk away. Shizuo had shoved his hands deep in his pockets, hunching his shoulders, awkwardly. Izaya was chatting away, apparently happy to be back in Ikebukuro. He grabbed onto Shizuo's arm, leading him away while pointing at some store.

"I fucking knew it!" Erika erupted, making everyone jump.

"Don't do that!" Kadota clutched his chest.

"You shouldn't swear so loudly in public" Mikado said quietly.

He went ignored.

"They're doing it for sure" she said smugly.

"What? You think those two are fucking? No way, man" Kida snorted.

"W-wha…" Shinra looked scandalized and looked between Erika and Celty "Celty, tell her!" he whined.

[Tell her what?]

"Say it isn't so!"

[Don't be so dramatic. I'm sure they'll explain what's up eventually. We should keep our noses out]

They all looked at each other.

"Yeah right!" Erika snorted.

* * *

**I liked this chapter. I mean, not much happened but yeah, I don't know. This story is crazy occ but what is fanfiction for? Hopefully I'll be able to present their actual personality traits too... **

**Anyway, I appreciate you reading! There shall be more to come... Although, I don't have any kinda of plan on this. I'm sort of excited to see where I go!**

**xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Heyooo**

**I like, got this chapter completed super quickly. I sort of just typed blindly as per usual and this is where my mind went. I mean I have a couple ideas but they're like, 'oh it would be just sooo soupy cute if that happen! I can totally see that!' but I have no idea how I'll get the story there.**

**Anyway! Please Enjoy**

**x**

* * *

Izaya dragged me into a giant bookstore and looked around excitedly. He didn't seem remotely interested in the books, but the peoples who rummaged through them. We ducked behind a bookshelf and Izaya cheerfully watched people go about their business.

"I missed Ikebukuro so much" he sighed, watching a mother tell off her teenage boy with adoring eyes.

It was creepy. I knew this. People watching was pretty fun, but Izaya took it to a weird level of strange. However, he looked so happy?! I didn't know what was weirder; him staring at people and liking it or me staring at him stare at people and liking it. He had a nice smile when it was genuine…

"Shizuo, listen" he held a finger to his lips.

A man had approached the shelf, leading his tiny daughter with him. She couldn't be older than four and had to reach up to clutch his hand. He was clearly a little overwhelmed, obviously having to get some research done while entertaining a small child.

"So how's your mama?" he asked as he scanned the bookcase.

"Good," the girl squeaked, nodding furiously "she is happy."

"Yeah? That's good" he said, not too bothered.

"She is happy because she gotted a new best friend. They have sleepovers and tickle fights just like you and mama used to do."

That made him pause "who are they?"

"Naomi."

The man blinked down at his daughter for a moment before breaking out in a smile and chuckling lightly "you know, that actually makes a lot of sense."

I couldn't help but smirked at that. Izaya was downright gleeful, gushing over his love for humans.

I scoffed "you talk as if you aren't one."

"Maybe I'm not" he purred, slipping around the case to idly inspect a homemade display what was clearly created by a member of staff.

"It's so cute" Izaya wrinkled his nose "it would fit lovely in your apartment."

"Fuck you" I spat, walking quickly away before my temper escalated.

He trotted after my heavy strides as I barged out of the shop. He was light on his feet so kept up with me nicely but lingered back a couple of feet, giving me space. I was surprised by the gesture but kept it to myself.

"I wasn't finished in there" the informant muttered. Though when I glanced back at him he was smiling contently and not actually sulking. He would move his head calmly from side to side and kept his gaze steady, but I knew he was hungrily taking everything in. Not much had changed since he'd been gone- a sign post repair here and there- but he'd probably pick up on a lot more than me.

I felt people staring and noted that there were more gapping than usual. I knew seeing me in such close proximity to Izaya without a fight was bound to cause attention. It was annoying. An angry itch began to crawl up my neck and I quickly decided it was time to get off the street.

"Come on," I grabbed Izaya and yanked him forward "I know a place you might like. Just don't fuck it up."

"Someone is eager."

"I hate people looking at me."

"As shy as ever, I see."

"Shut it, flea."

I guided Izaya through the dark room. The only lighting in the place came from small red candles, which sat on the table tops. I shoved him into the bars most shadowy booth before sitting down opposite him. Izaya rested an elbow on the table and leant against his hand. I focused my attention on the blues player on stage. He sat on an old bar stool, plucking and even older guitar. I zoned in on his hard, calloused fingers and tried to ignore Izaya's incessant stare.

I was about to break when the waiter saved me- or better yet, saved Izaya. "What you gentlemen drinking tonight?"

"Nikka whiskey" Izaya flashed him a pearly smile.

"Yeah, same" I said, dismissively.

The waiter bowed his head and went to collect our drinks.

I loved this bar. It was hidden down a dark Ikebukuro alleyway, down in a shadowy basement. I had stumbled across it a couple years ago and it had become a regular hangout. I felt a little out of place with the artistic folk that came here, but it seemed an unspoken rule to leave people be. The chatter was always minimal and quiet; the people focused on the stage and the performers on it who had never got their break.

I continued to watch the man on stage. He was a regular performer at the bar, who covered artists like Skip James, Lightnin' Hopkins and Johnny Woods as well as his own sad songs. As our drinks arrived he broke out into R.L Burnside's 'like a bird without a feather'. I closed my eyes and leant back in my seat.

Izaya was silent, apparently fixated on the singer and his song. I opened an eye to peak at him and he looked uncharacteristically dumbstruck. I chuckled silently and reclosed my eye.

I let the music wash over us. Taking in songs like 'devil stole my woman' and 'ball and chain'.

"Janis Joplin?" Izaya frowned.

"Bigger Mama Thorton" I corrected.

"I didn't think you'd be into this" Izaya let out a shaky sigh.

"You ever listened to it before?"

Izaya shook his head "I like it."

"Hm" I nodded.

Izaya watched me. He didn't say a word. I removed my glasses and met his gaze. There was no tension in our eyes, neither of us trying to stare down the other.

"It's confusing, isn't it" he whispered, twirling his finger around the rim of his glass. I glanced down at the long, slim fingers. He had very pretty hands; delicate and small in comparison to mine.

I snapped my head away "very."

Izaya sat back in his seat "tell me something about yourself. What's your favourite colour?"

I narrowed my eyes "surely you know."

"Surprisingly not. I'm curious."

I tapped the table, thoughtfully. This was probably a game. And I decided to play "what are the rules?"

Izaya grinned "Twenty questions. We can ask each other anything and you have to reply honestly. I will too."

"No cheating" I warned.

"You in?" he bared his teeth.

I folded my arms "Teal."

Izaya laughed and looked away "It does suit you."

"My go. What's like, up with the jacket? It seems important to you."

Izaya raised his brows, surprised I'd focus in on something like that. I still had nineteen more questions to use on more important things, so I thought I'd waste a couple on some lighter ones.

He thought about it "It was a gift. It was… a nice gesture and I feel… good in it. I think it suits me. I'm quite small so it's hard to find jackets that are very flattering."

It seemed a sincere enough answer. I wondered who had given him the jacket… perhaps I'd ask later.

"Are you going to drink that?" he nodded to the glass of whiskey that sat untouched in front of me.

"Is that one of your questions?" I grinned, smugly.

He laughed "no, it is not. The glasses, are they prescription?"

I snorted "that's what you want to know?"

"I'm just curious."

"Yes."

"You're go."

I look my time deciding what to ask next. He didn't rush me, patiently sipping his drink. I watched how carefully he would sip it. He'd barely open his lips, he would just suck the liquid from his lips.

"Do I have to ask all of them now?" … "And this doesn't count as a question."

"It depends on if you intend to see me again, I guess" Izaya turned his head but looked up at me through thick lashes.

I snorted and promised nothing "you close to your parents?"

"Oh, good question. You made things interesting" Izaya laced his fingers together "what brought this on?"

"Well, your sisters seemed excited to see you last time I saw them. I thought that could mean you don't go home often" I shrugged.

"My parents are fairly normal. They're often abroad on business. I still attend family events and will go home for dinner and stuff when they're about. I'll also go see my sisters when mum and dad are away but they annoy me. Like you I don't know how to deal with them."

"I can't imagine you having parents" I said, trying to picture his mother. I wondered if he took after her and if she was like my own mother. I doubted it and imagined her to be a cut-throat business woman. Yeah, that worked.

"Same question to you."

I coughed "my family is perfectly normal…"

"You can't lie" Izaya wagged a finger at me and winked.

I gritted my teeth "my mum is very… motherly. Both are very supportive of both me and my brother. Though they don't approve of my- uh- tantrums. They try and help. I've… I've never hurt any of my family."

Izaya smiled softly "I bet you don't call your mother enough. I bet she worries."

Ah, he got me there "I do call her… but I- never mind! I answered."

"No, I'd like to hear more!"

"No. Touch my family and I swear-"

"I wouldn't. I couldn't."

"Bullshit, home-wrecker" I spat.

Izaya bowed his head and glared at the table.

We didn't speak after that and just watched the stage again. This time a woman sat at the piano and played a twinkly little tune. I wanted to murder the piano and that stupid, sad song.

"I really miss Ikebukuro" Izaya sighed gazing up at the brightly lit advertisements. He outstretched his arms, as if trying to touch them. "I mean, I don't live that far away but still… it's weird not being in it. And my god, I was in all of it."

"Hmm" I hummed, agreeing that he was definitely up in everyone's business.

He span to confront me with a serious expression, ready to read my response "Is it too soon to move back?"

I thought about it.

"I don't understand why you left for so long. You wanted things to cool down, but… you seem to be waiting for people to stop being mad. It's as if you care."

Izaya cocked his head and smiled yet somehow I knew I had actually struck something within him. I waited.

"Well, well, Shizuo-chan! You might be smarter than you look" he mocked me.

"Arsehole" I growled, hunching my shoulder and walking away.

The annoying flea skipped after me, side stepping around me so he was in front. "Don't be bitter~" he sung, swaying his hips a little.

I shoved him harshly out the way and marched on "why do you have to be like that?"

"Like what?" Izaya sounded curious.

"You try and get a reaction from me but then don't tell me what's up…"

Izaya raised his brows "huh."

I whipped around to glare at him through tinted glasses "what?"

"I just didn't expect that to be the answer" he pouted.

I sighed and continued to walk, somehow knowing he would follow "why do you think you know me so well?"

"You seem to know me pretty well" Izaya huffed.

"I don't know shit about you" I spat "I don't understand you at all."

"I think you do" he whispered "more than anyone else at least."

I stopped to consider that and couldn't really deny it. I had hated him with such passion, it bordered on obsession and people would definitely describe it as a complex. Whenever I was free, my unoccupied mind would drift to him. I would imagine that cocky, knowing smile and his smooth, silky voice. I would picture his snowy skin and dark eyes, which would flash almost red in the right lighting. Those carnelian orbs would bore into me; tearing through me, exposing my weaknesses, fears and inner being. It would make me mad, insecure, sick and afraid but that wasn't thing that had me hooked.

This man. This painstakingly cruel, exasperating man. So charming and social, yet not one genuine or lasting bond. He could easily pretend, being as manipulative as he was. But he was alone. He kept people exactly where he wanted. Remaining at a distance; close enough to see but not be seen. Yet to me… Strong, cold carnelian eyes warped into flaking, decaying steel. His eyes were rust- broken, peeling, rough.

Like me, there was weakness. Like me, he was falling apart. And like me, his hard shell was rotting away, revealing his core.

But only I could see this. He had allowed me to see and for that I could not ignore him. He had made himself the one consistent element to my life. As much as I despised and resented the bastard, I could not hide from him. And as if in return, he had stopped hiding from me.

A low rumble of thunder brought me back and a light shower quickly turned into a heavy downpour. The street quickly deserted, leaving just me and Izaya in the rain. The shower clouded my vision, the bright street signs becoming a colourful blur. The water slapped against the pavement, drowning out the city sounds. The rain washed away the rest of the world; drenching me, numbing me and leaving me alone.

"You ever look up and just want to scream? Scream and scream and scream" Izaya gazed up at the storming heavens.

"Yeah" I harmonized.

He smiled and closed his eyes.

"Hey," I called "Izaya…"

"Hm?"

"I think… I think you're alone."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah… and I'm alone too."

He waited.

"I mean, I think we're alone. But we've always been together, right?"

He mouthed the word 'yes' before letting out a terrifying and broken scream, which was barely audible over the fall.

* * *

**I was up all night dealing with a sick friend and wrote this the following day. Was listening to blues. It was pouring outside. And that apparently influenced this.**

**I'd really like to hear what you guys think. Might help me figure out where I'm going so if you could comment that would be soupy nice. I mean, I don't mind but yeah, I'm a tad lost.**

**Thank you to all those who stuck around and read this!**

**x**


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